enakkoru girl-friend venumada (loosely translates to "i want a girlfriend")

dedicated to all those career oriented fine young men who are uncorrupted by the western cultures and are bent on upholding the indian culture of a traditional arranged marriage

disclaimer (because at this point in life I can’t take any chances)

All characters in this post are fictitious and are just a figment of my imagination. Any resemblance to anyone living is purely a coincidence and is welcome to make frand-sheep with the author; anyone dead can kindly ignore.

When I was in pre-school, I just wanted a friend to play with. And within the perimeter I was allowed I could only find her. We just about got along well, but we almost always ended up with her mom telling my mom what games we should be playing. Looks like she didn’t take kindly to my road safety games of running over her dolls with my cars.

When I was in primary school, I just wanted someone to talk to. And thanks to the alphabetical order in which we were seated, I found this girl who would talk to me. Not just that, she could talk non stop too. It did not serve much purpose though because me being the polite one could not ask her to shut up, and the gender biased teachers would always make me the outstanding student in their classes.

When I was in high school I wanted a girl who was smart and intelligent and may be even be a good study partner… that was a good way to start a relationship I thought. But then she turned out to be too smart and scored more marks than I did in all the exams. And finally she took up biology.

When I was beginning junior college I wanted to make frand-sheep with the new girl in our batch. She was beautiful and smartly dressed and looked good even in that stupid school uniform. But as it happens with all good looking girls, she was in the commerce stream, and that ended a possible love story.

When I was in the first year of engineering, I exchanged notes with a girl in my class. I was pretty studious at that time and was curious to know what that particular professor had told the class about the exams. Seriously! But little did I know that she was under radar of some seniors and that night they made me understand why I should rely on myself and not ask for help from other people – especially girls who have a potential boyfriend among the seniors.

When I became the senior, I scouted around for good looking juniors. But the management decided that they would go by merit for girls too from that year onwards. And I was left with just my all boys gang for company.

When I got my first job and was posted to a city that was famous for beautiful girls, I hoped I would accidentally bump into a hot chick and that it would be love at first sight. But despite all the loves at first sights there was a high probability that you could get accidentally bumped by those jealous boyfriends who were busy pumping iron while these chicks applied make-up.

When I had made some significant career progression I wanted a career oriented girl, preferably in my same company. She was so career oriented that she became the VP of our department and started playing with our careers.

When I got bored of my job and wanted a break, I wanted a girl who was a bit tomboyish and had a spirit of adventure in her blood. She was pretty tomboyish and even smoked cigars and rode a macho bike and had lots of spirits in her blood. So much that I started to feel womanly in front of her.

Now, I am tired of looking for a girl. I just want a girl who my mummy wants me to want.

Format adapted. Original source available on request.