Krrash !!!

The moment we entered the hall about 10mins late there was an ominous feeling… a sort of eerie emptiness that you can actually feel inside (and also see outside)… u get a feeling that you are probably in the wrong movie… maybe you should have stayed back and watched that re-run you have watched about a million times on the same channel already… or probably have read that book you have been fighting to finish… or maybe it is time to look at your dismal grades… or maybe just rolled under the cozy blanket and caught up on that much needed sleep… so many things that could have been done and you were here with about 8 others like you – 4 of them coaxed into it by you and 4 others who succumbed to peer pressure of simple majority…

Well ok, now there was no going back… we are here we are here… so let us as well enjoy the movie while we are here getting our money’s worth… there are some fringe benefits of watching movies in Mumbai cinemas especially those that charge a premium even for those late night ones… once we saw a well known actress (I am not mentioning her name here to protect privacy – mine that is)… well we “casually” kept bumping into her (well not literally you know, our paths just crossed… that was a just a figure of speech I used… no need to get jealous already) until her bodyguard or dad (can’t say which and we could not do any post situational analysis as we were not looking at him, well who would with better options… wow that is some language skills 4 words starting with “w”… oops sorry for digressing, will save it for some other post, maybe titled W… wotsays?)… I think I will remind you that we were at the bodyguard – and he gave us a sort of stare and we decided to move into the hall and keep an eye on her in the darkness… she had this great makeup which showed up well in the dim light too…

But this time there was no such distractions... Hey now where was I… thought I was talking about some movie… yeah let me start with the title… Krrish – hey why the rr? Is it for the sake of numerology or for the number of hrithik “r”oshans on the screen… well can’t say but I have not come across the emphasis on the creaking sound for Krishna… Krishna – now isn’t it simple to spell ? and say too ?

As for the cast, Rekha seems younger than preity and probably she was expecting a meatier role… maybe opposite the younger hrithik… but since the role was awarded to piggy chops, she seemed overcome with professional jealousy. There is absolutely no life in her dialogues, or maybe it is because she is actually playing hrithik’s overly overprotective old "grand"mother… man I have never seen anyone get so shocked when the principal wanted to take an IQ test of the child hrithik… she acts as if the principal wanted to take a dna test (well actually that would have been interesting as papa hrithik is away for nearly 2yrs in Singapore with wife in India when baby hrithik is born… and in the end jaadoo is thanked… very fishy…) well she plays the typical young grandmom and watched over her grandchild through her thick glasses… (well actually above the glasses, and I still can’t figure out why she wore it, she looked very old).

Now piggy chops also affectionately called priyanka chopra, is the babe who sizzles as the woman in red, yellow, blue, black, mini skirts, mini tops but no swimsuits… (don’t remember seeing her in a saree as in aitraaz, but still ok wardrobe). Man what a babe, and what a dumb babe… I remembered the joke where adam asks god why was eve so beautiful and dumb… anyways some new thing I learnt was that glass walls can be occasionally opaque, especially when you are talking ill about someone and they are standing right in front of you, but the other side of the glass – u simply cannot see them ! (try it if you dare to prove me wrong then we can both sue the roshans).

Now coming to the asli hero. One serious doubt – is hrithik planning to enter politics? If we calculate his entry into politics would be in about 20 years time and the kids who watch his movies about jaadoo and superspiderbatneomorpheusphantomandwhatnotshakti-man would be grown up to think that their superhero hrithik would save India as the prime minister from all the bad people in the world and also outside it. My deduction is that hrithik would follow on the footsteps of one such role model in the US and is trying to get a man-machine interfacing movie sanctioned from papa… quite costly, but then we should look at the long term holistic picture… (maybe rekha can be requested to play the harassed gun toting mom who is considered insane as she sees people from other planets and time…)

Now if you guys would excuse me, I would dedicate this paragraph also to hrithik bashing as rekha stole the limelight from the previous paragraph… well hrithik seems to be catering to his kiddy fans so much that he is turning out to be a kid himself… his expressions, actions and dance steps seem to have that fluidity of a skinny kid who is trying to dance… now I am not saying that he is a bad dancer and I certainly did like his dance steps in his adult only movies like KNPH and lakshya… but in these movies when he speaks and jumps around waving his arms especially with that stupid expression on his face… that is too much self degradation when he is not even getting the money (remember papa makes the movies and the money comes from the family corpus… )

Naseeruddin Shah’s moment of truth has arrived in this movie and probably he would be honoured at the Oscars or at least our local film festivals organized by that paanwala every year for being the best villain role performed… sad to say except for one line which made me smile, the rest of his show was stupidity… (wot people do for money and friendship sakes…)

Overall, the film seemed to have catered to its intended target segment… well piggy chops was never seen in a bikini or even a swimsuit was she? or did I miss it in those 5 minute powernaps during the songs (well if I did miss it, parents can just probably keep quiet about it or take their kids out for pop corn)… to me it felt like it should be certified “below 10” – that is can be viewed by people under the age of 10yrs (some exceptions can be made on the basis of mental maturity shown by them)… but since the kids cannot be brought in without their parents, I am sorry the parents would have to grin and relive their old days of reading indrajal comics…

I don’t know why I sat through the whole movie… but on second thoughts, maybe I will have to endure such movies pretty soon…

PS. Do not let guys from the IT sector watch it. They will find too many faults with the execution.

PPS. Maybe Pamela Anderson can audition for hrithik’s grandmom in the next movie… just give her a chance guys, she uses make-up too…