the great indian olympic challenge


Michael Phelps is my new role model and beacon of hope. The recent rekindled interest in the Olympic legend, by the papers, has brought a new ray of hope into my otherwise uneventful meaningless life. I have decided to train for the next Olympic swimming events and have an ambition and quantified objective to work forward to. A look at the diet work-out plan of Phelps has made me drool energized and given me enough hunger inspiration for success. And not to mention the by product that will put all those bollywood six packers to shame and send them packing (haha, good pun no? a little humor in such serious training hurt no one).


 

 

Michael Phelps displaying his 64 packs abs and the small mouth that caused it thereby proving size does not matter.

 

I have googled about Michael Phelps and here is what I found out about how he won the Olympic golds.

       1) He ate eggs, cheese, fried onions, mayonnaise, pasta, chocolate cakes, pizza and lots of coffee.

       2) And yeah he spent some time in the pool everyday, even on holidays. 

It is not that difficult. I love all the stuff mentioned above… except the fried onions… but I find that he didn’t eat the fried onions alone. mmm maybe I could have them with fried potatoes…  yeah, I guess that is ok. Potatoes are a source of carbohydrates... I think. Yes that is what I will do… just thinking about those huge sandwiches with melted cheese makes me super inspired to dig jump in into the pool and start off right away…

I just love eggs… and mayo and… and… of course swimming too… when our school gave me a chance to learn swimming I grabbed it with both my arms and legs too… so now if u threw me into the water I can survive for a few minutes till you threw me the lifebelt… no hurry, you have 3 minutes before I empty the swimming pool with my synchronized thrashing…

But I have taken care of that so that I can train independently (and hence protect my privacy). We have a pool in our apartment complex which is about 5 feet deep. And since I am a foot taller I won’t drown and hence I won’t need that life jacket. Though a nice inflated rubber raft (with an umbrella attached) will be a good idea… so that I don’t have to travel all the way into my house to eat all that food I need for my training. I can just lie on the raft and eat throughout the day – that saves me a lot of time and this way I can spend more time in the pool.

Wow man… I am so clever that I can optimize my time by multitasking… plus my sense of humor will get me the girls… Phelps watch out man… you have competition…


 

 Phelps with no sense of humor says - "hey watch it lady... i just ate… am still digesting… so my swimming will not be as good as… huh… later on…” (which as we all know is a plagiarized dialog from the movie kung-fu panda)

 Olympic golds, and of course lovely ladies, here I come!!! 


 

 



10 comments:

Enlightened Soul said...

Good One!
btw, have you really started to swim?

R. Anand said...

- enlightened soul:
that is part 2 of the plan... as soon as this cold weather spell gets over...

SRK said...

yeah, go for the gold da...

forget the food and the ladies...

the Govt of Karnataka will award you crores while claiming how you learnt swimming in Bangalore... while the Govt of TN will go to court saying TN will also produce swimming champions if only they had released Cauvery water...

your dad will give an interview on how you threw a maid in water and jumped in to save her while you were 5 years old... and numerous arm chair critics will bemoan the lack of human rights for maids...

you can then announce your plan to open Anand Ranga Ace Boarding Schools (ARABS) all over the country... but the MNS will come and force you to change your school's name saying we can't have arabian schools in aamchi mumbai...

much fun will follow...

so, go for the gold!!!

R. Anand said...

- SRK:
ada paavi... what started as a simple personal ambition has been twisted by you into a nationwide and international political crisis... and to think that i have not even stepped into the water...

i think u shift into politics...

R. Anand said...

and btw... i am a TN product... nothing can make me a KK representative... X(

spiderman! said...

Ah, you are in the wrong sports man. If you want lovely ladies, play cricket !

And I want more posts on your parents and their actions and reactions :))

SRK said...

once u win the gold, there is no 'simple personal ambition'... you become the talking point of the whole nation...

then, your every utterance and non-utterance is going to be criticized :)

R. Anand said...

- hirok:
cricket is a team sport... you know what happens when i have to depend on others for anything... i cant plan a small trip with 4 people, think of what will happen when i depend on 22...

and posts on parents - there are 2 many of them...

-srk:
it is ppl like you who are the cause of us not winning many medals... you make us worry about the results even before the test :(

now if i dont get a gold, i know whom to blame...

Vivek said...

You dont have to go for gold! Just pretend you really are!
And then the hype will handle the rest!
:D

Rajesh said...

so when are you going to try the marijuana pipe and ofcourse pose for a photo with the pipe