crazy kiya re

I donno what came over me today… and I probably did one of the craziest things – I almost hiked my way to my office… well the almost here is in the context of attitude and thoughts and not exactly in terms of distance…

I was just about some 50meters from the bus stop when I spotted my shuttle (office bus) speed past the stopping point. Somehow just a couple of minutes before I felt that I was going to miss the bus that narrowly and it happened… as usual I was not greatly surprised – I was used to this kind of things happening…

I looked around and saw at a distance a great congregation of vehicles in what appeared to be a traffic jam (I was on one of the most trafficky roads in Bangalore called the airport road… ) and that was when a crazy idea struck me… actually it did not strike me and all that… I just continued… I mean I sort of did not make any conscious decision, but just you know continued following the bus as if hypnotized…

Thus began a great game of catch me if you can with the bus… I could always see its distinct white body from a distance and the moment I reached within some sprinting distance of it, it would move a little more ahead… like the evading butterfly that keeps moving from flower to flower, always within your site, but always out of reach…

Only there was nothing romantic about today… the day was kind of sultry with the sun just peeping out from the exhausted rain clouds; thankfully it was not raining but the sun was contributing to my wetness. And I was walking up an incline. And with a heavy laptop on my shoulders and it did not even occur to take out my ipod with its outdated song collection.

As I told you, I was not thinking. But slowly I made my way, ignoring the voluntary advances by the autowallas and desire to just stop and wait for the next shuttle that was expected in maybe an hour or so. But my brain would not listen. It just made me trudge up the hill… and the bus moved ahead a little bit more… and so on it continued – I would reach close and it would move a little further… and then on a little further through the gaps in the traffic – so close yet so far.

And so on it went till the bus was the first one at the signal. And I started cursing my fate – anytime now, the signal will turn green, and I would lose the bus forever. And just because I need to get in so badly, it would be the shortest wait at the signal today. And if I miss the bus, where would I stop? Would I follow it for another 3 kms to the next signal. Curse the weather - why was it so sultry today? And curse my kanjoosi – I should have taken an auto in the first mile itself; then I would not have missed the bus, nor would I have had to wait for too long.

And then I looked up, there it was waiting… waiting as if beckoning me to make that final plunge… like a beautiful mermaid beckoning to the prince in the ship to jump into the sea and forever be hers… oh sorry, different story… it is the humid heat, makes me dream off…

But I took the bait… I sprinted across the last 10 meters or so and just put my foot in as the lights turned green. People looked at a sweaty dusty dirty and tired being walk in to their cool mobile abode, just long enough to register a pitiful gaze and went back to their respective neverlands…

Did this little episode change my mind about the traffic and accept it with quiet reluctant respect ? Was traffic good that it stopped the bus from getting away from me ?

naaaaaaaaaah…

Would I do it again?

I hope not !!!

bloody blogger’s block…

I don’t have to apologize to my regular blog readers about not blogging regularly like many people who come out of long hibernations. I simply reply to them whenever they catch me on chat… it is easy because there is so few of them…

I have many reasons… lack of inspiration … lack of a conducive environment… lack of a supportive infrastructure… too little work… laptop crashing… clock moving too fast… tiring traffic on the roads… US interest rates rising…

Frankly I feel that I have so much to write that I am beginning to get scared… I start thinking that I must blog every single event in my life even as mundane as brushing my teeth and having a haircut… I don’t actually get to put them all online thanks to the millions of muddled topics that I don’t actually get to prioritize them…

And then there is this concept of putting personal stuff on an open forum… I do agree that everybody brushes their teeth and has a haircut, but then there are some real personal stuff which everyone does but might prove hazardous to others and ight even require parental guidance (that is if they dont put a child block on it…)

There are also many blogs that are persistently un-updated and forgotten by their owners. I won’t chide you guys for not writing regularly – I understand. Someday you will get back, and till then I will keep watch. ..X. .X..

There are many bloggers who have struck fame and riches with their persistence in writing their blogs – though I would not recommend plain persistence, however when combined with talent and a little bit of luck, opportunity will meet preparedness and you never know what will happen…

I am not sure I can sustain my adrenalin rush for writing till I become famous… but I am gonna just let my ink run loose till it dries up… and blog just about everything… I don’t care about whether I put humor in it or sorrow… I don’t care if it is a soliloquy or a symphony… I am just gonna attack it with a vengeance…

So don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Formula 1 for success: United we stand, divided we fall

Ferrari won… I mean kimi won… I don’t believe it… is that what they call law of averages??? After almost 2 whole seasons of different failures which included even parts that could not normally fail, this is the ultimate clincher… when it rains it pours… literally when it forced silly-rookie-with-big-dreams Hamilton to make that mistake of holding on to the old tires and defending-champ Alonso to slip and slide and get scared. Was it just that lady luck decided to smile on kimi on that fateful day or was it that lady bad luck was for once careless… or was it the famous Ferrari team work at play?

Ferrari have definitely come a long way, learning from their mistakes of the past. From the obvious barichello braking to the sneaky massa pit stop, Ferrari have definitely learnt their lesson and learnt it well. Not only that they have taught their drivers well too… massa didn’t even flinch on the podium… unlike barichello who murmured something about team-orders and screw-driver… sometimes it makes me feel that the main qualification for the Ferrari drivers is the absence of a vertebral column. Something that seems to be too rigid and inflexible in the mclaren drivers…

Seriously it was a case of insecurity for Alonso when there was no second driver spot in his team… the boss said both of you are just my drivers and I am not bothered which car as long as it is a merc. But on the final day the spite ran high as there were 3 guys against Hamilton one of whom was his own team-mate… well you don’t expect the dedication like the Ferrari team, but at least make it a fair fight… flanked on 3 sides, the poor fresher had nowhere to go but back and back he did… and mclaren had to have that electrical misfiring on the same day… kimi could not get luckier and try as he did, Hamilton died fighting and Alonso stayed put – his enemy vanquished but goal forgotten.

Anyways, it is again the cats, cheese and the monkey story where the monkey ran away with the cheese the 2 cats were fighting over. Hope Alonso moves on to Renault and then we would have some good racing next year. 3 drivers and 3 different cars… but Ferrari seems to be coming up with a new strategy.

Looks like they are hiring lots more lawyers who are definitely cheaper than the drivers. This way they would force all other teams out of the races by disqualifying them, and finally win the championships by default. And yes they would get the 3^rd bottle of champagne free.

confessions of a guilty consultant

i feel guilty...

i am a consultant like most post mba people and am working onsite at a client location... but before you start feeling jealous that i am in the bustling neighbourhoods of london or the orderly locales of germany and some exotic location of the swiss alps holidaying in the weekends, let me tell u i have not left the locales of india, in fact i am very much within the locales of the city i am in... ok i won't bitch about this city now... i reserve it for dinner discussions with friends...

but the fact remains that i am wallowing in a low cost center in india itself... actually it makes sense for them to cut costs because they are not the world leaders in their industry... they are only second with revenues of less than $10 billion... poor people... that is why they have their office in one of the low cost neighborhoods of bangalore which is actually a neighbour to the city itself just some 20km out of it... it is an adventure in itself going there waking up as early as 6am to begin the journey which is a nice long one with fellow workers and consultants to give you company... and with all that excited honking in that packed roads keeps you awake for the entire 2 hour journey... well simple math will tell u that we are doing just 10km/h but then slow and steady wins the race and speed thrills but kills - our bus drivers are strict followers of that even though they are eternally playing musical chair variations like catch-that-gap-before-the-honking-stops etc...

then of course after that nice journey when we reach the office location we are greeted by strict security officers who make you feel at home with their concentrated scowls when they check all the guys for the id cards. yeah they know that only the guys have the brains enough to blow up the IT offices in that tech park with bombs... girls don't... don’t think that we are male chauvinists, it is a scientifically proven fact; and it boosts your self confidence every day when you hear "sir id card id card... ok sir, thank you sir"... and the attendance register that we have to sign is a clear method of cutting costs... no elaborate silly access control systems...

even the software that the employees use makes me feel guilty... when i get the latest windows Vista and XP professional edition for all my home computers and laptops, all for free, we use some of the outdated operating systems that are no longer even supported even by die hard open source fanatics... and yes the hardware that supports it is outdated too so that there are no compatibility issues - think of all the problems we would have if we put faster hardware with slow OSes... while we consultants are given laptops with the latest hardware configurations so what if they are handed down through the generations of consultants and are prone to crash for each hand they pass into, they are still sleek laptops weighing only 5 kgs as sompareed to the 15kg monitor + 10 kg cpu that we get at onsite...

their employees seem to be a bunch of people who seem to be paid very less that they cannot even afford their basic roti-kapda-makan... while we consultants strut around in business casuals and formals complete with expensive italian leather shoes (heven't you heard of the michaelanjelo brand - these shoes are available only in exclusive stores along the back alleys near andheri railway station in mumbai) with each set of our clothings costing at least a 500 bucks we see people moving around in dirty and tattered jeans and sandals... even though they say that the jeans (we can clearly see that it is some chinese brand named after bruce lee) are new and the sandals are for comfort and cost about 2500 bucks... how can brands like reebok and nike compare against michaelanjelo? and the other day i saw this girl in a very short skirt and a sleeveless t-shirt that looked like it was something that was bought when she was in primary school... i was even planning to start a small collection fund from our consulting team where each of us contributed some money so that she could buy some clothes... but she seemed happy - isn't there a saying that money can't buy happiness and I envy her for finding happiness despite her poverty...

we also get some good perks like that wonderful mirror in the restroom... it shows people distorted into longer and fatter shapes like those funny mirrors in amusement parks - only this mirror has all the mirrors clubbed into one and at different points you can see yourself in different shapes... and it even has a spot in the middle where the person in front of it just disappears... it is an amazing stress buster... but there is always a big queue in that rest room - the employees are all extremely stressed out;(don't misunderstand that the restroom is under-equipped) while we are pretty chilled out working only for some 12 hours a day, their employees are so stressed out that they have to come late to the office and leave early as well...

and what a pathetic recreation system they have for employees (apart from that funny mirror) - just one small cafeteria with a coffee machine and a fridge with some soft drinks, and carrom board and a partitioned room for a tt table... and they don't even have a tv with a good DTH connection... how long can we keep pressing F5 every 5 minutes on cricinfo... don't we have other mails and scrapbooks to check... it is too bad that we had to leave work half a day early cramming our whole team into a small car and go home just to watch a cricket match... and those expensive restaurants we go to when we feel like having a better lunch than the cafeteria food, they normally take at least 2-3 times the normal duration of our lunch hours... and this despite the fact that we go to these places only 3 or 4 times a week while all the poor employees of the client eat at the cheaper cafeteria - though the quality of the food is the same...

that is what makes me feel guilty... when the client is so poor we consultants seem to be leeching out the money from them... even though we are not as good as rajnikanth who in sivaji could make some 250 crores at the young age of 25 just writing some software code, we do make a few thousands; and if we cut down on some of our daily meals, we can even save some money every month in those plastic piggy banks... provided our government does not levy piggy-bank-taxes, these little savings will be useful during the rainy days or maybe we can even donate a part of it to that poor girl...