Before you start thinking I am gonna bash another movie again, I am sorry to disappoint you guys… I had watched the tamil remake of it too “JayJay” the only difference with the $5 bill replaced by a 100 rupee note and the flights with the Indian railways. I really liked that movie and it was a nice feel good movie which made me feel good… despite its predictability…
My discussion here is about fate… or rather the belief in it… or even better my disbelief in it.
For a background of the movie, it is about a guy and a girl who accidentally meet by some coincidence at the same point in space and time. And they spend the evening together enjoying each others company until things begin to get nasty. The girl, who believes in karma, (i.e., you will get whatever is predestined and all that crap), leaves him without her contact even though she likes him and the guy has been courageous or shameless enough to confess his liking for her. But they start a game, a dangerous one, leaving their fate in the hands of fate (somebody whom they don’t even know), hoping that someday each one would find the other person’s artifact and also actually get in touch.
Now though it appears to be a beautiful romantic adventurous thriller, it failed to appeal to me in that genre. I am an MBA and I do possess a very high self esteem quotient. I believe I control my destiny to a very large extent at least. And I live in the present never trusting the future… something called hedging I guess (if I am wrong, srk please correct me in private, not in the comments). So the best thing that they could have done was to spend the rest of their lives together from that moment on…
I don’t see any logic behind it but rather I see it as a shirking of a decision making responsibility… if by luck we are forced to meet again, then let us get married and let us call it a bad luck later. This technique is also called “passing the blame” and here “lady luck” will not talk back rite…
In today’s competitive environment I apply to some 20 companies for a job, even though my placement cell assures me of one. Now for a life partner, would I not attempt to apply to some 3-4 at least? Just think of the pure wastage of money – how many 100 rupee notes can I give away? I would rather spend 6 times that amount on two slices of cake for dessert in JW Marriott at midnight with the girl… where is the ROI immediate guys… I am not a VC and don’t intend becoming one to write off such wasteful investments.
A long time ago, when my dad wanted to cure me of my laziness, he used to say “God helps those who help themselves”. From that day on I stopped trusting God; I only expect help from humans, most often my mom. But here it really makes a significance. After a lot of years (though the movie says “few” years only) of seeing regular signs from the almighty, the 2 characters start realizing that they should have accepted the PPO than wait for the finals, as the profile was much better there (sorry for the jargon guys, but it is autumns time). So during those 2 days when they start the search, they both get the artifacts delivered into their hands at almost the same time. And they do some how manage to get in touch and finally live happily ever after… I looove happy endings…
But what really pisses me off – wastage… those years of wasted companionship… the wastage of another girl’s life and dreams when her wedding is called off… the wastage of another guy’s romance… the unnecessary violet suit that cost 700 dollars… the 95 dollar hideous looking purple tie…
So the next time u think of living by fate think again… it is ok to wait for someone whom you know will come for you, but it is stupid to rely only gut feel demand forecasting. It is better to take a wrong decision and make a mistake than be too stupid.
The love that broke all relationships…
And all the barriers to tears and laughter and all that mixed emotions let loose sitting right under the noses of those larger than life images er umm I mean characters… KANK (Kabhi Alvida Naa Kahna) was an absolute family entertainer… especially the kid with the violin brought back memories of a similar barrier breaking movie a few years back, amazingly with almost the same lead characters and one guest actor from today’s movie… yes of course there were wonderful guest actors in today’s grand party thrown by BigB.
Mentioning BigB – he rocked as always… and he was the “baap of chota bachan in all aspects”… smart, stylish, suave, sensible, sexy, seductive, and superb (fits the mckinsey 7S framework well) and and he really lived his part… and died it too… though for what bloody reason, I have no clue…
SRK does his usual role of a sad doleful faced acting which is turning into a common mimicry dialogues that any tom, dick or harry is doing these days. Preity Zinta tries to appear sexy, but she can do little to fight a losing battle with old age, maybe a little less hair color would suit her better, unless she is hoping for a role in “Legally Blonde-3” (I heard they were going to stick to the truly implied meaning of words this time”). Rani is good especially in that multicolored song that they do, but then I always had a soft corner for her. Chota Bachan needs a shave and a bit of slimming down, or probably it is the sadness in his life that has given him a sleepless bloated faced look… whatever be the case, next to BigB, he seems to be unattractive. Kajol and John Abraham did a great and important role… it was nice to see kajol keeping her eyesight and also her beauty… no comments on John’s musical know how required for DJ-ing.
The movie is an absolutely great value for money – for just 50 bucks I got to sit in an A/c theater for nearly 4hours and the closest to the stars than anybody else, with the maximum leg room. (Had a little neck pain and back strain, but those are small issues.) Had the right moments to stimulate your tear glands (but not before exercising those 15 facial muscles while laughing)… and they summarize the movie at important points to help you remember and even provide an executive summary in the beginning. I was thoroughly happy with the ending (or probably when it ended, can’t be sure).
A very well recommended family entertainer, though the families in the movie are rarely in the “entertained frame of mind”… but the ending is a happy one, and I looovee happy endings… absolutely touching piece of work. Highly recommended for a stressed out MBA breadwinner, coming home to a nagging wife and kid who constantly pester him for a family outing to the theater – it may provide you a permanent solution with just one stroke.
Mentioning BigB – he rocked as always… and he was the “baap of chota bachan in all aspects”… smart, stylish, suave, sensible, sexy, seductive, and superb (fits the mckinsey 7S framework well) and and he really lived his part… and died it too… though for what bloody reason, I have no clue…
SRK does his usual role of a sad doleful faced acting which is turning into a common mimicry dialogues that any tom, dick or harry is doing these days. Preity Zinta tries to appear sexy, but she can do little to fight a losing battle with old age, maybe a little less hair color would suit her better, unless she is hoping for a role in “Legally Blonde-3” (I heard they were going to stick to the truly implied meaning of words this time”). Rani is good especially in that multicolored song that they do, but then I always had a soft corner for her. Chota Bachan needs a shave and a bit of slimming down, or probably it is the sadness in his life that has given him a sleepless bloated faced look… whatever be the case, next to BigB, he seems to be unattractive. Kajol and John Abraham did a great and important role… it was nice to see kajol keeping her eyesight and also her beauty… no comments on John’s musical know how required for DJ-ing.
The movie is an absolutely great value for money – for just 50 bucks I got to sit in an A/c theater for nearly 4hours and the closest to the stars than anybody else, with the maximum leg room. (Had a little neck pain and back strain, but those are small issues.) Had the right moments to stimulate your tear glands (but not before exercising those 15 facial muscles while laughing)… and they summarize the movie at important points to help you remember and even provide an executive summary in the beginning. I was thoroughly happy with the ending (or probably when it ended, can’t be sure).
A very well recommended family entertainer, though the families in the movie are rarely in the “entertained frame of mind”… but the ending is a happy one, and I looovee happy endings… absolutely touching piece of work. Highly recommended for a stressed out MBA breadwinner, coming home to a nagging wife and kid who constantly pester him for a family outing to the theater – it may provide you a permanent solution with just one stroke.
Over a cuppa chai…
During my engineering days we called it “maangaa” sessions (in tamil slang) or “laccha” or "guppe maarna" (in the general college lingo)… those were trivial pursuits done in unknown innocence… these days we call it “intellectually stimulating discussions”… how is that for the mba touch…
It all begins when at least one of the "thinkers" feels some kind of emotion – ranging from being down in the dumps or to the perfect ecstasy – in other words, any which way, who cares. It is almost always late night, but it can occur during the day too, provided rule 1 above applies. We just need a trigger and we somehow always find it.
What do these discussions contain? It is done generally as a feel good discussion where we discuss anything and everything ranging from politics to your roomies stinking underwear.
This is the place where we criticize AB for his expressionless acting talent. Here is where we criticize the guy who said “yaar, AB mein thoda talent tho hai”…
Here is where we criticize the subjects that we are forced study to despite their irrelevance… and here is where we criticize the prof when the subject is chosen by us…
Here is where we criticize the marking and grading system of the college… and here is where we criticize the management for not coming up with some form of evaluation that is overall fair and beneficial to all…
Here is where we discuss sensitive issues that are plaguing the Indian government like lack of education and the deprived mass… here is where we crib about our spacious and snug flats and crib how boring it is to study…
Here is where we talk about making drugs and alcohol legal… and here is where we talk about the benefits of making it into a slab based tax structure scheme based on the weight by volume ratio of alcohol in the drink to increase sales and capture market share…
Here is where we discuss about our placements and our dream companies… and here is where we criticize the ppt of the very same company for its lack of life and enthusiasm…
We criticize others and add points to our superiority score tally. We criticize the system and add more points. We criticize the system and others who follow the system and add more points. Finally we criticize the others who don’t follow the system and add still more points to the brimming tally. Here is where we draw energy from each others low stock and amplify it with each passing second. Here is where we revel in the fact that we are too proud to be proved wrong and how the others can never match in this level of intellectual maturity… and here is where revelations like “my mediocrity is definitely less mediocre than the mediocrity of others” happen…
Amazing thing I would miss when I leave this place – the intellectual cuppa chai… our intellectual stimulant.
It all begins when at least one of the "thinkers" feels some kind of emotion – ranging from being down in the dumps or to the perfect ecstasy – in other words, any which way, who cares. It is almost always late night, but it can occur during the day too, provided rule 1 above applies. We just need a trigger and we somehow always find it.
What do these discussions contain? It is done generally as a feel good discussion where we discuss anything and everything ranging from politics to your roomies stinking underwear.
This is the place where we criticize AB for his expressionless acting talent. Here is where we criticize the guy who said “yaar, AB mein thoda talent tho hai”…
Here is where we criticize the subjects that we are forced study to despite their irrelevance… and here is where we criticize the prof when the subject is chosen by us…
Here is where we criticize the marking and grading system of the college… and here is where we criticize the management for not coming up with some form of evaluation that is overall fair and beneficial to all…
Here is where we discuss sensitive issues that are plaguing the Indian government like lack of education and the deprived mass… here is where we crib about our spacious and snug flats and crib how boring it is to study…
Here is where we talk about making drugs and alcohol legal… and here is where we talk about the benefits of making it into a slab based tax structure scheme based on the weight by volume ratio of alcohol in the drink to increase sales and capture market share…
Here is where we discuss about our placements and our dream companies… and here is where we criticize the ppt of the very same company for its lack of life and enthusiasm…
We criticize others and add points to our superiority score tally. We criticize the system and add more points. We criticize the system and others who follow the system and add more points. Finally we criticize the others who don’t follow the system and add still more points to the brimming tally. Here is where we draw energy from each others low stock and amplify it with each passing second. Here is where we revel in the fact that we are too proud to be proved wrong and how the others can never match in this level of intellectual maturity… and here is where revelations like “my mediocrity is definitely less mediocre than the mediocrity of others” happen…
Amazing thing I would miss when I leave this place – the intellectual cuppa chai… our intellectual stimulant.
Presentations and the paucity of time
Presentations are one of the most abused forms of evaluation in a mba program… whatever happens we are to give a presentation… and what a presentation in total contrast to the “communication skills” one that we made in the foundation course – all with jazzy animated gaudy pictures text and graphs (Disney would outsource its next movie to us…)
I am a scaredy-cat when it comes to public speaking… general gyaan is a different matter – I can give a discourse on my beliefs and the futility of the human existence in a materialistic world, but mugging up a bunch of facts about some company set eons ago in the early 80s or 90s from some 20 page case… and giving gyaan after the insufficient analysis. What are we? Magicians turned consultants? Giving direction to the company on what it should do after reading about it for the first time the previous night? And the prof sitting out there who would have been giving the same case generation after generation and have gained enough knowledge to ask questions that would stump even the master gassers…
All the above factors always work against me during presentations… whatever little confidence I used to self generate by looking at the ppt would dissipate when I find my groupies rehearsing… well I never believe in mugging up “good morning ladies and gentlemen… thank you for providing this wonderful opportunity for me to show you how I can put my foot in my mouth…”. I always was confident about speaking impromptu than I was about rehearsing because I at least had the excuse that I didn’t rehearse and I got intimidated by the crowd…
What is worse is the situation where in you are expected to wait like a sacrificial lamb till your number is being called in a random fashion. You know that you are gonna get screwed but don’t know when… and the longer he takes to call out your number the bigger the butterflies become – you know the ones in your stomach… they suddenly start feeling like dinosaurs and having dinosaurs in your stomach is not a very comfortable feeling. The slow fear avalanches into a trepidation and then makes you jump at any small twitch from the prof…
It all begins when the unprepared feeling kicks in at 3am the previous night… now you are so sleepy that your eyes remain firmly closed and have switched off all the character scanners… but your mind has that guilt alarm that says “boss it is ok if you sink alone, but today you are going to pull others in your group with you…”. That starts the dilemma – my bullet ridden body wants to sleep and my guilt ridden brain does not. A very disturbed sleep with bad dreams of daggers and blood and white tunics my eyes open to realize that the dagger was actually my roomie’s finger jabbing me. I hurriedly go about putting on formals after a hurried bath (both of which I hate) and stuff the tie into my bag and rush to the great dome triumphant at having accomplished the impossible – being there 5 minutes early before my group. I have missed my breakfast but so what? That shows my dedication doesn’t it?
Slowly my group filters in muttering their speech under their breath. First impact on unpreparedness. Then the CA in our group asks us “have you guys read the financial implication of the 600,000 we put in the lean management for increasing our throughput time”. Externally I remain silent like the rest of them, but inside I have my second impact – what if the prof asks me that question instead of the rest of the group, and what exactly was lean management? …throughput? …increasing ?
I open my laptop to go through the manual again, but the prof asks us to shut it and the show begins. Luckily we are not the first group and I seem to have time to find out what exactly was lean management and the rest of the question. But now during the presentation I cannot open my laptop… so I surreptitiously open it up under the table and I hear some tearing sound – I pray that it is not my LCD screen doing the honors. Somehow I manage to locate the manual, my face glowing like a beauty soap model in the light of the laptop screen. But I also read more unfamiliar symbols in the manual. I ask my groupie sitting beside me what they meant and he said something that sounded like greek and latin…
By now I am petrified as the probability of our group being next is increased (as the denominator is one down). And the prof calls the other group in our industry – am I to breathe a sigh of relief or should I fear the next new symbol that I am about to discover. But my CA now borrows my laptop for a quick glance, and I am forced to look at the action happening in the center of the room. I find some of my brave comrades being barraged under the machine gun fire of questions and fault finding under the effect of which the prof was just orgasmic… and after the brave soldiers were buried by their own countrymen (well who do you think asked those questions?) the prof dug up their graves to put them in deeper by pointing out presentation errors.
The butterflies were growing into the size of small birds now and I notice some really obvious errors in our presentations. Of course not my part, but my part was anyways strung with loads of gas and he might ask anyone to present in any order at any point in the presentation. We are not next nor the next. But the gunfire continues and my stomach is now host to a t-rex (and maybe more dinos) stomping in rhythm to my heart beat then ripples through my skin…
And finally the time comes, I am called in to do the most dreaded area of the presentation that I had no idea whatsoever (didn’t have time to ask our CA). And I go onto the center, a deafening silence surrounds me. I start speaking, the source of the words unknown, the meaning of the words unknown; in fact I can’t even hear what I am saying above the buzz of silence in my ears. Somehow I mechanically move to the laptop and press enter to move to the next slide. Then I hear the verdict that my turn is done and the other person substitute. I walk back in the same stupor that I was while in the center. My group finishes and the firing squad takes its shot. And then the prof puts our final writings on our tombstone and we are done. We go back to where we were seated, a huge sigh of relief washes away the t-rex and the other dinos. As the desk thumping fades, a fatigued relief washes over me and I just want to curl up under my blanket. We congratulate each other over the narrow escape that we have had and cross our fingers for a non-bottom of the pyramid score.
I go to my hostel to prepare for the other presentation in outsourcing that I have the next day. I go through the same dilemma and have a troubled sleep. But this time I dream about a freefall into darkness. I wake up to realize that there are only 15mins. I rush through my formals and into the classroom to see my group setting up the presentation; we were the first this time. They heave a sigh of relief on seeing me, as if I am the messiah; little do they know. My turn comes in pretty fast and I go ahead, gas away to glory and end the presentation. Desk thumping follows, and a couple of questions and some professorial criticisms later, I am back in my seat, indifference personified, eyes on my laptop screen, hands on the arrow keys, mind on winning the 7 lap race – deaf ears to what the others are presenting and the profs caustic comments.
What was the difference between the first and the second day – no time and so no evolution from butterflies to dinosaurs and hence no fatigue.
I am a scaredy-cat when it comes to public speaking… general gyaan is a different matter – I can give a discourse on my beliefs and the futility of the human existence in a materialistic world, but mugging up a bunch of facts about some company set eons ago in the early 80s or 90s from some 20 page case… and giving gyaan after the insufficient analysis. What are we? Magicians turned consultants? Giving direction to the company on what it should do after reading about it for the first time the previous night? And the prof sitting out there who would have been giving the same case generation after generation and have gained enough knowledge to ask questions that would stump even the master gassers…
All the above factors always work against me during presentations… whatever little confidence I used to self generate by looking at the ppt would dissipate when I find my groupies rehearsing… well I never believe in mugging up “good morning ladies and gentlemen… thank you for providing this wonderful opportunity for me to show you how I can put my foot in my mouth…”. I always was confident about speaking impromptu than I was about rehearsing because I at least had the excuse that I didn’t rehearse and I got intimidated by the crowd…
What is worse is the situation where in you are expected to wait like a sacrificial lamb till your number is being called in a random fashion. You know that you are gonna get screwed but don’t know when… and the longer he takes to call out your number the bigger the butterflies become – you know the ones in your stomach… they suddenly start feeling like dinosaurs and having dinosaurs in your stomach is not a very comfortable feeling. The slow fear avalanches into a trepidation and then makes you jump at any small twitch from the prof…
It all begins when the unprepared feeling kicks in at 3am the previous night… now you are so sleepy that your eyes remain firmly closed and have switched off all the character scanners… but your mind has that guilt alarm that says “boss it is ok if you sink alone, but today you are going to pull others in your group with you…”. That starts the dilemma – my bullet ridden body wants to sleep and my guilt ridden brain does not. A very disturbed sleep with bad dreams of daggers and blood and white tunics my eyes open to realize that the dagger was actually my roomie’s finger jabbing me. I hurriedly go about putting on formals after a hurried bath (both of which I hate) and stuff the tie into my bag and rush to the great dome triumphant at having accomplished the impossible – being there 5 minutes early before my group. I have missed my breakfast but so what? That shows my dedication doesn’t it?
Slowly my group filters in muttering their speech under their breath. First impact on unpreparedness. Then the CA in our group asks us “have you guys read the financial implication of the 600,000 we put in the lean management for increasing our throughput time”. Externally I remain silent like the rest of them, but inside I have my second impact – what if the prof asks me that question instead of the rest of the group, and what exactly was lean management? …throughput? …increasing ?
I open my laptop to go through the manual again, but the prof asks us to shut it and the show begins. Luckily we are not the first group and I seem to have time to find out what exactly was lean management and the rest of the question. But now during the presentation I cannot open my laptop… so I surreptitiously open it up under the table and I hear some tearing sound – I pray that it is not my LCD screen doing the honors. Somehow I manage to locate the manual, my face glowing like a beauty soap model in the light of the laptop screen. But I also read more unfamiliar symbols in the manual. I ask my groupie sitting beside me what they meant and he said something that sounded like greek and latin…
By now I am petrified as the probability of our group being next is increased (as the denominator is one down). And the prof calls the other group in our industry – am I to breathe a sigh of relief or should I fear the next new symbol that I am about to discover. But my CA now borrows my laptop for a quick glance, and I am forced to look at the action happening in the center of the room. I find some of my brave comrades being barraged under the machine gun fire of questions and fault finding under the effect of which the prof was just orgasmic… and after the brave soldiers were buried by their own countrymen (well who do you think asked those questions?) the prof dug up their graves to put them in deeper by pointing out presentation errors.
The butterflies were growing into the size of small birds now and I notice some really obvious errors in our presentations. Of course not my part, but my part was anyways strung with loads of gas and he might ask anyone to present in any order at any point in the presentation. We are not next nor the next. But the gunfire continues and my stomach is now host to a t-rex (and maybe more dinos) stomping in rhythm to my heart beat then ripples through my skin…
And finally the time comes, I am called in to do the most dreaded area of the presentation that I had no idea whatsoever (didn’t have time to ask our CA). And I go onto the center, a deafening silence surrounds me. I start speaking, the source of the words unknown, the meaning of the words unknown; in fact I can’t even hear what I am saying above the buzz of silence in my ears. Somehow I mechanically move to the laptop and press enter to move to the next slide. Then I hear the verdict that my turn is done and the other person substitute. I walk back in the same stupor that I was while in the center. My group finishes and the firing squad takes its shot. And then the prof puts our final writings on our tombstone and we are done. We go back to where we were seated, a huge sigh of relief washes away the t-rex and the other dinos. As the desk thumping fades, a fatigued relief washes over me and I just want to curl up under my blanket. We congratulate each other over the narrow escape that we have had and cross our fingers for a non-bottom of the pyramid score.
I go to my hostel to prepare for the other presentation in outsourcing that I have the next day. I go through the same dilemma and have a troubled sleep. But this time I dream about a freefall into darkness. I wake up to realize that there are only 15mins. I rush through my formals and into the classroom to see my group setting up the presentation; we were the first this time. They heave a sigh of relief on seeing me, as if I am the messiah; little do they know. My turn comes in pretty fast and I go ahead, gas away to glory and end the presentation. Desk thumping follows, and a couple of questions and some professorial criticisms later, I am back in my seat, indifference personified, eyes on my laptop screen, hands on the arrow keys, mind on winning the 7 lap race – deaf ears to what the others are presenting and the profs caustic comments.
What was the difference between the first and the second day – no time and so no evolution from butterflies to dinosaurs and hence no fatigue.
Happy Birthday
they said… "Hypocrites", I say…
Well how can one be happy when his butt is stinging and he cannot sit anywhere, with loads of yolk running over his hair (I have heard of egg in shampoo, but this is not to my liking) and cold water running along your back…
Yes… my birthday was on the 27th of this month… well actually it should have been 26th, but due to our highly efficient data recording services, my birthday was decided by the government of India as the 27th. (But my governing planets and lucky numbers and gemstones are those of 26th and that is another sob story.) Has that changed the world’s perception about me… I am not a great soul for whom the stars shone down on the birth night… nor was I born with some number tattooed on my head… I was not a Siamese twin… I was not one of the bi-quadruplets of genetic multiples… I was not born during a tsunami or a flood or under any major natural disaster and survived it… nor was I born under some great time of the economic boom and prosperity… I was a simple normal usual healthy child. So what is the point of celebrating my birthday or rather what is wrong with not celebrating my birthday?
I have outgrown my fascination for cutting cakes and having parties ever since I was 5 and learnt that I could say no without getting punished. What exactly is the point of paying some 200 bucks for a pineapple cake that was just eaten in those days and today just smeared around… cannot people just go about and buy a slice of cake whenever they wanted it? They would just spend a fraction of the money they spent for that worthless present… Or littering the house with all that confetti and burst balloons… that is something I felt sorry for the person who usually cleaned up – usually my mom… and since it was my mom, I was obliged to indulge in the hard work too…
What is so great about remembering birthdays… it only represents ominous hypocrisy to me… it reminds you that you are one year older and one step closer to the end of your life… it reminds you of those kiddish joys that you enjoyed doing which you have to now stop doing because you have “mentally matured”… you are supposed to shoulder some responsibility, something that people would never trust you with when you ask to be trusted… it brings an empty hollow wish from some people who never even acknowledge your presence on most days… it puts your best friends at a discomfort for they have to behave differently during those few minutes in which you gain the importance – a glaring difference from being taken for granted to being treated special… it puts you at a major discomfort when asked for a treat and you think of the shock your dad is going to have when he sees your credit card bill… so what is good about birthdays…
Let alone my birthday… what is wrong with forgetting other’s birthdays… every year I forget some birthdays, and some I do remember… it is not that I cannot recall my mom’s date of birth… it is just that on that particular day I forget to wish her… does that mean that I love my mom less… or does it mean that all the love I show for her is a lie all because I forgot to wish her on the birthday? I have forgotten the birthdays of some of my closest friends… I have lots of friends, who are really great friends, but forgot my birthday… now are they my enemies? And those friends who kicked me after that treat – well with friends like these who needs enemies?
Should anyone remember my birthday? I ask why? I am not a great freedom fighter nor have I done some great deed during some big disaster… I don’t want that kind of fame either and most of the birthdays that are remembered are for exaggerated deeds – October2, September5… no one remembers small accomplishments (I don’t think we celebrate Narayanmurthy’s or Azim Premji’s or Lakshmi Mittal’s birthdays on a national scale).
So how do I like my birthday being celebrated? During my engineering college I was thankful that I was born on this day as it usually fell during the vacations… there was no mercy shown… and the more popular you were the greater was the “attention” "showered" on you… somehow after managing to escape the wham-bam logic in engineering I landed up in a great big company that claimed that it loved its employees… what they actually had done was gotten the receptionist’s mail id configured to some cheap birthday reminder service and allocated a budget for some pineapple cake… so every day there would be some pineapple cake for the cafeteria guys to clean up and the rest of the year that employee would be treated like horse shit (not cow shit as that is sometimes considered useful)… after all this ways of celebrated birthdays, I just want the anonymity of 364 days to remain on this particular day too (as it is too much to ask for the same attention for all 365 - too much pineapple cake)…
Last year nature was kind to me, though I am sorry for all those it has been unkind to… People were so preoccupied that they were able to forget poor lucky me… But during this year it was not to be… nature forgot her deadline and even though there was something to keep them occupied, my friends remembered it and they said better late than never… though there were some good things that happened to stop it like power cuts and a delayed return from a movie, it was still not forgotten… my birthday "bash" happened at 2am on the 28th… 2 days after I was actually born, and after 26 hours of delayed honor… I was suspended by some arms and then there was this funny feeling of levitation after a few whams… it went on like this – a hazy looking leg shooting up and WHAM… lost count after that floating feeling and finally when I was let off, I was feeling as if I had been stealing in the arab countries and been whipped and flogged in public… luckily due to the early morning time, all the eggs were locked up…
It was not over… I was asked to cut a cake – a thick chocolaty one – but that was not to be eaten, at least by me… I was smeared head to foot with chocolate… I have heard of sexy relaxing chocolate baths that were in vogue today… but in no way was this one sexy or fashionable…
Thanks guys for breaking me into the tradition… and thanks for the birthday that I will probably remember for time to come…
PS. Sorry SRK for plagiarizing the title… the least I could do to repay a debt…
Well how can one be happy when his butt is stinging and he cannot sit anywhere, with loads of yolk running over his hair (I have heard of egg in shampoo, but this is not to my liking) and cold water running along your back…
Yes… my birthday was on the 27th of this month… well actually it should have been 26th, but due to our highly efficient data recording services, my birthday was decided by the government of India as the 27th. (But my governing planets and lucky numbers and gemstones are those of 26th and that is another sob story.) Has that changed the world’s perception about me… I am not a great soul for whom the stars shone down on the birth night… nor was I born with some number tattooed on my head… I was not a Siamese twin… I was not one of the bi-quadruplets of genetic multiples… I was not born during a tsunami or a flood or under any major natural disaster and survived it… nor was I born under some great time of the economic boom and prosperity… I was a simple normal usual healthy child. So what is the point of celebrating my birthday or rather what is wrong with not celebrating my birthday?
I have outgrown my fascination for cutting cakes and having parties ever since I was 5 and learnt that I could say no without getting punished. What exactly is the point of paying some 200 bucks for a pineapple cake that was just eaten in those days and today just smeared around… cannot people just go about and buy a slice of cake whenever they wanted it? They would just spend a fraction of the money they spent for that worthless present… Or littering the house with all that confetti and burst balloons… that is something I felt sorry for the person who usually cleaned up – usually my mom… and since it was my mom, I was obliged to indulge in the hard work too…
What is so great about remembering birthdays… it only represents ominous hypocrisy to me… it reminds you that you are one year older and one step closer to the end of your life… it reminds you of those kiddish joys that you enjoyed doing which you have to now stop doing because you have “mentally matured”… you are supposed to shoulder some responsibility, something that people would never trust you with when you ask to be trusted… it brings an empty hollow wish from some people who never even acknowledge your presence on most days… it puts your best friends at a discomfort for they have to behave differently during those few minutes in which you gain the importance – a glaring difference from being taken for granted to being treated special… it puts you at a major discomfort when asked for a treat and you think of the shock your dad is going to have when he sees your credit card bill… so what is good about birthdays…
Let alone my birthday… what is wrong with forgetting other’s birthdays… every year I forget some birthdays, and some I do remember… it is not that I cannot recall my mom’s date of birth… it is just that on that particular day I forget to wish her… does that mean that I love my mom less… or does it mean that all the love I show for her is a lie all because I forgot to wish her on the birthday? I have forgotten the birthdays of some of my closest friends… I have lots of friends, who are really great friends, but forgot my birthday… now are they my enemies? And those friends who kicked me after that treat – well with friends like these who needs enemies?
Should anyone remember my birthday? I ask why? I am not a great freedom fighter nor have I done some great deed during some big disaster… I don’t want that kind of fame either and most of the birthdays that are remembered are for exaggerated deeds – October2, September5… no one remembers small accomplishments (I don’t think we celebrate Narayanmurthy’s or Azim Premji’s or Lakshmi Mittal’s birthdays on a national scale).
So how do I like my birthday being celebrated? During my engineering college I was thankful that I was born on this day as it usually fell during the vacations… there was no mercy shown… and the more popular you were the greater was the “attention” "showered" on you… somehow after managing to escape the wham-bam logic in engineering I landed up in a great big company that claimed that it loved its employees… what they actually had done was gotten the receptionist’s mail id configured to some cheap birthday reminder service and allocated a budget for some pineapple cake… so every day there would be some pineapple cake for the cafeteria guys to clean up and the rest of the year that employee would be treated like horse shit (not cow shit as that is sometimes considered useful)… after all this ways of celebrated birthdays, I just want the anonymity of 364 days to remain on this particular day too (as it is too much to ask for the same attention for all 365 - too much pineapple cake)…
Last year nature was kind to me, though I am sorry for all those it has been unkind to… People were so preoccupied that they were able to forget poor lucky me… But during this year it was not to be… nature forgot her deadline and even though there was something to keep them occupied, my friends remembered it and they said better late than never… though there were some good things that happened to stop it like power cuts and a delayed return from a movie, it was still not forgotten… my birthday "bash" happened at 2am on the 28th… 2 days after I was actually born, and after 26 hours of delayed honor… I was suspended by some arms and then there was this funny feeling of levitation after a few whams… it went on like this – a hazy looking leg shooting up and WHAM… lost count after that floating feeling and finally when I was let off, I was feeling as if I had been stealing in the arab countries and been whipped and flogged in public… luckily due to the early morning time, all the eggs were locked up…
It was not over… I was asked to cut a cake – a thick chocolaty one – but that was not to be eaten, at least by me… I was smeared head to foot with chocolate… I have heard of sexy relaxing chocolate baths that were in vogue today… but in no way was this one sexy or fashionable…
Thanks guys for breaking me into the tradition… and thanks for the birthday that I will probably remember for time to come…
PS. Sorry SRK for plagiarizing the title… the least I could do to repay a debt…
free speech for the dumb
This is not a post on the freedom of speech in India… but a feeling expressed by “dumb” as in “those who don’t speak out/up” people like me… those who found a way to express their thoughts and feelings through another medium… those peace-loving citizens who found a way of raising social issues without kindling a revolt… one of those bloody bloggers…
A couple of days after the Mumbai blasts I had put up something and wanted some close friends to read it (yes, it was a mutual agreement – u read my blog and I will read yours). But then I got some complaints that it is not accessible… I thought it was a problem as usual with our network that had a infinite number of problem points and asked them to keep trying silently cursing the poor committee in-charge of it. But even after about 24hrs when nobody claimed responsibility (a “we donno” mail which was usually sent by the committee was missing too…) it started worrying me… I started sending out test cases to my friends across the globe… result I found was that it was blocked only in India and only this domain… a little bit of research and some confirmed rumors helped me understand the reality – the DoT of India had exorcised its rights… to block the domains… and in turn the freedom of speech and expression…
Me and a few of my scratch-each-others-backs friends were thoroughly disappointed – we had just begun our writing careers… we wanted to bring in more itchy-scratchy friends… we had begun a new initiative at SPAMming and had many plans for the blogs in the future… all would go unnoticed as our friends in India (a little arm twisting made them our best friends and regular readers) would not be able to read it… Of course the DoT didn’t realize that we could still post but only the viewing was blocked… that brings us to the next paragraph…
Now this word dumb can be used in another context as well… the dictionary says it also means lacking intellectual acuity… now is that the word I should use for the IT law enforcers in the country ? A country which has suddenly shot into the limelight because of the numerous IT companies that have sprung up… a country that prides itself that a major chunk of its GDP comes from IT exports… a country that prides itself on its intellectual capital based on which it has built its IT outsourcing concept… a country that boasts of the IT infrastructure setup by the many service providers… a country whose IT law enforcers lack the acuity to discern the perpetrators of the IT crime and the innocent… a country whose IT law enforcers lack the common sense on how to punish the cyber criminals…
A few days back in Tamilnadu (and a few other states too probably) a huge quantity of pirated stuff in the form of CDs were seized and an elephant was made to walk over the pile… I fail to understand the elephant part… is it to prove that lord Ganesha in the form of the elephant disapproves piracy and we should take it as a will of god to buy the original stuff ? what do we do for Christians? nail all the CDs on a cross? And about Muslims? I seriously can’t think of any punishment there… or maybe I am wrong about the religious bent to it… maybe it was because the then chief minister could not herself walk over the pile and she sent a “representative” instead… but the big Q – was piracy stopped? It has returned in quite a short while…
I read a news report (can’t exactly remember the source), but it goes something like this… there is some guy who had some objectionable material probably porn, (I don’t think anybody would be stupid enough to have defense secrets on his comp for so long as the police to arrive… well come on guys, as soon as he gets the blueprints probably they are gone onsite already and his swiss account is already credited unless he is on a monthly payroll)… coming back to the case, the police when they sniffed out this guy, they immediately launched an offensive and seized his monitors (and left his cpu and hard disks)… man that really crippled the “criminal”… well that reminds me of a surd joke, but let us not get into the details, I have more to write…
Or how about this recent case of baazee when the CEO was arrested for allegedly selling porno material in the form of the school mms clip… the allegation was not to save that poor girl’s dignity or anything altruistic or moral… it was about baazee selling porno stuff… and how is the CEO liable to be arrested? He could probably take corrective action, but arresting him? How does this serve any purpose? Talk about understanding business models and laws… the mms clip is after all an mms clip… it will continue on its circulation via the most undetectable medium – the mms way… how does arresting the CEO help in curbing pornography circulation in India?
Well coming to the principal issue that triggered this outburst – why block blogspot domain? There were some theories put forth by the scratchy club when we were discussing what to do next… some of us even considered migrating the entire set of posts to some other blog sites… that set us thinking… all the other sites were working? Only blogspot domain was not opening up! Was it to promote the Indian blog sites? Like the Indian government slaps restrictions on MNCs from doing business in India so that it can force people to buy the products from the Indian industries. Well the Indian blogs were as comparable to blogspot as were a broken down old car and a brand new Mercedes… the user interface is plain damn shitty…
Now there could be another reason – the terrorists were using these blogs as a free medium to pass information in the form of code… well come on man… which terrorist organization has a blog? Or why should a terrorist go through all the rigmaroles of writing blogs in code? Anybody could do anything in India – it just won’t get noticed… man any terrorist could carry a shipment of arms through our railways or roadways or seaways… come on guys we have too many people that 1 or 2 extra, normally dressed terrorists would never get noticed anyways… they would just blend in with their bag of bombs with the shopping crowd…
Or was it that these blogs were raising some sort of upheaval to overthrow the government by organizing a coup – inspired with blog posts… wow that sounds like a new plot for a rang-de-basanti types movie… straight from the heart… can’t wait to see one… hey come on man, people don’t get aroused (I mean angry uprising) by the injustice meted out to them in every walk of life but would get inspired by the writings on some obscure blog?
Or was there was some objectionable content on the blogs… like a cartoon depicting something that was extremely funny about some religious icon… and are these cartoons only on these blogs… if so then there are two things to learn from this – 1) bloggers are damn creative and innovative and (2) they are not afraid to express their views. And does blocking these blogs avoid the spread of such “malicious” content? For all you know the stuff is already safely stored away in the infinite inboxes around the world (in fact the storage space they provide of the order of GBs even help people to store complete movies). And doesn’t blocking these stuff or trying to police the internet against the very principles that the entity called the internet stands for? It is an uncontrolled growth and a treasure trove of information… and it is that way because there is no restriction. I personally believe that if the internet is going to be shut down, you better be careful of the cascading effect it will have in shutting down b-schools too…
Well anyways, all that is just an excuse for sighting aliens… you know the elaborate stories spun by the US agencies that take care of people who sight alien spacecrafts or have an interaction with aliens… they give weird reasons to them saying that it was an experimental weather balloon, or a planet… the truth is probably what ET put up in the bottom of their front page a couple of days back… some 17 blogs were named heretical and blocked… now call it stupidity or callousness or autocracy the whole blogspot domain used by above 40,000 active regular users was blocked… and to think that these 17 people would not be able to cause any more harm – they would just open a new blog in another name… and they could still edit their posts remember… and in fact the worst blow for this government initiative was that a leading national daily published an article teaching people how to circumvent these bans…
Come to think of it, how many such bans actually work? Right from movies to drugs, whenever there is a restriction, people always find a way out. In fact it increases the demand for these restricted products and services… Curiosity killed the “good intentions” of the government…
PS. If anybody has a list of those 17 sites, please send them to me… I would love to read them.
A couple of days after the Mumbai blasts I had put up something and wanted some close friends to read it (yes, it was a mutual agreement – u read my blog and I will read yours). But then I got some complaints that it is not accessible… I thought it was a problem as usual with our network that had a infinite number of problem points and asked them to keep trying silently cursing the poor committee in-charge of it. But even after about 24hrs when nobody claimed responsibility (a “we donno” mail which was usually sent by the committee was missing too…) it started worrying me… I started sending out test cases to my friends across the globe… result I found was that it was blocked only in India and only this domain… a little bit of research and some confirmed rumors helped me understand the reality – the DoT of India had exorcised its rights… to block the domains… and in turn the freedom of speech and expression…
Me and a few of my scratch-each-others-backs friends were thoroughly disappointed – we had just begun our writing careers… we wanted to bring in more itchy-scratchy friends… we had begun a new initiative at SPAMming and had many plans for the blogs in the future… all would go unnoticed as our friends in India (a little arm twisting made them our best friends and regular readers) would not be able to read it… Of course the DoT didn’t realize that we could still post but only the viewing was blocked… that brings us to the next paragraph…
Now this word dumb can be used in another context as well… the dictionary says it also means lacking intellectual acuity… now is that the word I should use for the IT law enforcers in the country ? A country which has suddenly shot into the limelight because of the numerous IT companies that have sprung up… a country that prides itself that a major chunk of its GDP comes from IT exports… a country that prides itself on its intellectual capital based on which it has built its IT outsourcing concept… a country that boasts of the IT infrastructure setup by the many service providers… a country whose IT law enforcers lack the acuity to discern the perpetrators of the IT crime and the innocent… a country whose IT law enforcers lack the common sense on how to punish the cyber criminals…
A few days back in Tamilnadu (and a few other states too probably) a huge quantity of pirated stuff in the form of CDs were seized and an elephant was made to walk over the pile… I fail to understand the elephant part… is it to prove that lord Ganesha in the form of the elephant disapproves piracy and we should take it as a will of god to buy the original stuff ? what do we do for Christians? nail all the CDs on a cross? And about Muslims? I seriously can’t think of any punishment there… or maybe I am wrong about the religious bent to it… maybe it was because the then chief minister could not herself walk over the pile and she sent a “representative” instead… but the big Q – was piracy stopped? It has returned in quite a short while…
I read a news report (can’t exactly remember the source), but it goes something like this… there is some guy who had some objectionable material probably porn, (I don’t think anybody would be stupid enough to have defense secrets on his comp for so long as the police to arrive… well come on guys, as soon as he gets the blueprints probably they are gone onsite already and his swiss account is already credited unless he is on a monthly payroll)… coming back to the case, the police when they sniffed out this guy, they immediately launched an offensive and seized his monitors (and left his cpu and hard disks)… man that really crippled the “criminal”… well that reminds me of a surd joke, but let us not get into the details, I have more to write…
Or how about this recent case of baazee when the CEO was arrested for allegedly selling porno material in the form of the school mms clip… the allegation was not to save that poor girl’s dignity or anything altruistic or moral… it was about baazee selling porno stuff… and how is the CEO liable to be arrested? He could probably take corrective action, but arresting him? How does this serve any purpose? Talk about understanding business models and laws… the mms clip is after all an mms clip… it will continue on its circulation via the most undetectable medium – the mms way… how does arresting the CEO help in curbing pornography circulation in India?
Well coming to the principal issue that triggered this outburst – why block blogspot domain? There were some theories put forth by the scratchy club when we were discussing what to do next… some of us even considered migrating the entire set of posts to some other blog sites… that set us thinking… all the other sites were working? Only blogspot domain was not opening up! Was it to promote the Indian blog sites? Like the Indian government slaps restrictions on MNCs from doing business in India so that it can force people to buy the products from the Indian industries. Well the Indian blogs were as comparable to blogspot as were a broken down old car and a brand new Mercedes… the user interface is plain damn shitty…
Now there could be another reason – the terrorists were using these blogs as a free medium to pass information in the form of code… well come on man… which terrorist organization has a blog? Or why should a terrorist go through all the rigmaroles of writing blogs in code? Anybody could do anything in India – it just won’t get noticed… man any terrorist could carry a shipment of arms through our railways or roadways or seaways… come on guys we have too many people that 1 or 2 extra, normally dressed terrorists would never get noticed anyways… they would just blend in with their bag of bombs with the shopping crowd…
Or was it that these blogs were raising some sort of upheaval to overthrow the government by organizing a coup – inspired with blog posts… wow that sounds like a new plot for a rang-de-basanti types movie… straight from the heart… can’t wait to see one… hey come on man, people don’t get aroused (I mean angry uprising) by the injustice meted out to them in every walk of life but would get inspired by the writings on some obscure blog?
Or was there was some objectionable content on the blogs… like a cartoon depicting something that was extremely funny about some religious icon… and are these cartoons only on these blogs… if so then there are two things to learn from this – 1) bloggers are damn creative and innovative and (2) they are not afraid to express their views. And does blocking these blogs avoid the spread of such “malicious” content? For all you know the stuff is already safely stored away in the infinite inboxes around the world (in fact the storage space they provide of the order of GBs even help people to store complete movies). And doesn’t blocking these stuff or trying to police the internet against the very principles that the entity called the internet stands for? It is an uncontrolled growth and a treasure trove of information… and it is that way because there is no restriction. I personally believe that if the internet is going to be shut down, you better be careful of the cascading effect it will have in shutting down b-schools too…
Well anyways, all that is just an excuse for sighting aliens… you know the elaborate stories spun by the US agencies that take care of people who sight alien spacecrafts or have an interaction with aliens… they give weird reasons to them saying that it was an experimental weather balloon, or a planet… the truth is probably what ET put up in the bottom of their front page a couple of days back… some 17 blogs were named heretical and blocked… now call it stupidity or callousness or autocracy the whole blogspot domain used by above 40,000 active regular users was blocked… and to think that these 17 people would not be able to cause any more harm – they would just open a new blog in another name… and they could still edit their posts remember… and in fact the worst blow for this government initiative was that a leading national daily published an article teaching people how to circumvent these bans…
Come to think of it, how many such bans actually work? Right from movies to drugs, whenever there is a restriction, people always find a way out. In fact it increases the demand for these restricted products and services… Curiosity killed the “good intentions” of the government…
PS. If anybody has a list of those 17 sites, please send them to me… I would love to read them.
the learning curved
After reading a post of mine someone asked me whether I really believed in the concept of learning from other’s mistakes in a mba… well there cannot be a better person for the job… or maybe there are more like me out there. In fact I was following this principle even before an mba – that is probably the reason I did my engineering, don’t smoke, don’t have a girlfriend, am still a virgin and I am doing an mba.
In fact I learn only from others mistakes, I have begun to forget that there are some learnings from what they do right too…
This is maybe why I never take risks. I have read about people who have taken risks and done great and about people who have taken risks and have gotten screwed. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and keeps the others just for the sake of GK.
This is maybe why I never speak up… I have seen people voice their opinions against things that are against their principles and get respected for it and I have seen people voice their opinions against things that are against their principles and get ridiculed for it. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and keeps me reminded to keep my mouth shut even if my heart gets torn to shreds.
This is maybe the reason I don’t try to make new friends too easily… I have seen people start off by forcing themselves onto groups and people they know nothing about and get accepted as part of the gang and I have seen people start off by forcing themselves onto groups and people they know nothing about and get rejected and dejected. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and keeps me reminded to approach new people with caution and not to open up.
This is maybe the reason why I don’t have faith in the unknown angels… I have seen people put in too much expectation in divinity and fate and get rewarded and I have seen people put in too much expectation in divinity and fate and go bankrupt and lose everything. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and makes me paranoid about expected outcomes and gives me a pessimist tag.
This is maybe the reason I stick to conformity and not try something new… I have seen people doing something outrageous like humorous presentations or even proposing to the girl they love and being applauded and I have seen people doing something outrageous like humorous presentations or even proposing to the girl they love and getting the spirit beaten out of them. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and makes me a coward constantly afraid to step out of the boundaries defined.
I have learnt so much from other’s mistakes that I am beginning to believe that it was all a big mistake…
In fact I learn only from others mistakes, I have begun to forget that there are some learnings from what they do right too…
This is maybe why I never take risks. I have read about people who have taken risks and done great and about people who have taken risks and have gotten screwed. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and keeps the others just for the sake of GK.
This is maybe why I never speak up… I have seen people voice their opinions against things that are against their principles and get respected for it and I have seen people voice their opinions against things that are against their principles and get ridiculed for it. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and keeps me reminded to keep my mouth shut even if my heart gets torn to shreds.
This is maybe the reason I don’t try to make new friends too easily… I have seen people start off by forcing themselves onto groups and people they know nothing about and get accepted as part of the gang and I have seen people start off by forcing themselves onto groups and people they know nothing about and get rejected and dejected. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and keeps me reminded to approach new people with caution and not to open up.
This is maybe the reason why I don’t have faith in the unknown angels… I have seen people put in too much expectation in divinity and fate and get rewarded and I have seen people put in too much expectation in divinity and fate and go bankrupt and lose everything. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and makes me paranoid about expected outcomes and gives me a pessimist tag.
This is maybe the reason I stick to conformity and not try something new… I have seen people doing something outrageous like humorous presentations or even proposing to the girl they love and being applauded and I have seen people doing something outrageous like humorous presentations or even proposing to the girl they love and getting the spirit beaten out of them. My mind decides to retain the latter at the forefront and makes me a coward constantly afraid to step out of the boundaries defined.
I have learnt so much from other’s mistakes that I am beginning to believe that it was all a big mistake…
7 blasts of 11-7
Sitting far away from the blasts affected areas and victims, in the college mess with a hot cup of chai and couple of eggs with upma and chutney, I thought a lot about our great Indian culture. I know it is easy to comment from where I sit and I would be a good for nothing piece of junk when it came to actually delivering in these emergency situations. All I know is contributing some old clothes, some blood donation and shooing away beggars at railway stations and traffic signals. But this is my blog and I am the king here. I will just put down what I felt as I read through columns and columns of facts and feelings from one of the nation’s many war wounds.
When the local residents helped the victims, it showed the great solidarity and altruistic attitudes of our people.
It also shows how grossly inadequate and inefficient our rescue and emergency operations are.
When Mumbai is up and running within 24hours of the disaster, it showed how professional and how quick we are at recovering from our losses.
It also shows how indifferent and casual we are about the whole affair.
We showed how much of information we have when the LeT man arrested a few days back gave us news about the possibility of such an attack.
It also shows that even when we have the clues staring right into our eyes and telling you of your impending doom, we are callous enough to ignore it.
When our politicians empathize with us and condemn the terrorist attacks, it shows how caring for the people and the nation and how outspoken we are.
It also shows what a bunch of hypocrites we are.
When the local transports are crowded and people help each other in through the crowd, it shows how helpful and friendly we are.
It also shows that we don’t need twin towers for victims of that number when one local train will do and how seriously insufficient our support systems are.
When the media puts up all the bloody and ghastly images on its front page, it shows how the media cares about the criticality of information it gives its readers.
It also shows how they leverage on creating excitement and reading frenzy by printing the most happening horrifying news items and pictures so that it sells.
Reminiscing on our history and finding that India has never attacked another country even though we have been attacked and plundered and raped and wounded by a thousand miscreants, shows what a peace loving country we are.
It also shows, what a set of diffident spineless forgetful complacent weak worthless cowards we are.
When the local residents helped the victims, it showed the great solidarity and altruistic attitudes of our people.
It also shows how grossly inadequate and inefficient our rescue and emergency operations are.
When Mumbai is up and running within 24hours of the disaster, it showed how professional and how quick we are at recovering from our losses.
It also shows how indifferent and casual we are about the whole affair.
We showed how much of information we have when the LeT man arrested a few days back gave us news about the possibility of such an attack.
It also shows that even when we have the clues staring right into our eyes and telling you of your impending doom, we are callous enough to ignore it.
When our politicians empathize with us and condemn the terrorist attacks, it shows how caring for the people and the nation and how outspoken we are.
It also shows what a bunch of hypocrites we are.
When the local transports are crowded and people help each other in through the crowd, it shows how helpful and friendly we are.
It also shows that we don’t need twin towers for victims of that number when one local train will do and how seriously insufficient our support systems are.
When the media puts up all the bloody and ghastly images on its front page, it shows how the media cares about the criticality of information it gives its readers.
It also shows how they leverage on creating excitement and reading frenzy by printing the most happening horrifying news items and pictures so that it sells.
Reminiscing on our history and finding that India has never attacked another country even though we have been attacked and plundered and raped and wounded by a thousand miscreants, shows what a peace loving country we are.
It also shows, what a set of diffident spineless forgetful complacent weak worthless cowards we are.
Lurrrnings del Lohgad
Recently enticed by repeated mails containing explicit pictures of the pristine and undesecrated beauty of a place called lohgad we decided to take advantage of a god sent Sunday of cancelled classes to make the trek. It was an opportunity not to be missed, to quote a regular trekker. At that time I was skeptical, to be very euphemistic… actually I wanted nothing of it. I was used to the comforts of planned holidays and outings even if it meant a little bit more money. Why would anybody deliberately go through all the hardships consciously aware of his impending doom?
I was torn between the devil and the deep sea – actually I would say “sleep” and “a long awaited trek” or the pessimist in me says “deprived sleep (on a chance of a lifetime)” and “an unnecessarily uncomfortable dirty wet tiring journey”.
Well these were what I actually learnt from the outing.
1) If there is something interesting to look forward to, then sleep deprivation does not actually bother you.
Rudely pushed into the trek which began at 5am and the preparations for it started at 3am and considering the football match preceding it – well in other words I didn’t sleep that night. And I even considered dropping out of the expedition. But then after the journey began in the cool morning breeze, I lost all the sleepy feeling and actually felt energetic. Wish I could say the same for all those classes… profs and wannabe profs who are reading this may take some pointers.
2) When chilled to the bone, the feeling of indifference that sets in actually lets you enjoy more.
My rain jacket gave up on me. What else could it do if being clearly outsmarted by the heavy and continuous rains… after a few hours of soaking, it started transferring water through to my t-shirt. Sometime later my t-shirt passed it on to my innerwears and so on. So finally I was wet to my skin. Since the wind also wanted to show his fury, there was continuous buffeting of the rain by the wind around us and whenever this happened, a shiver would run down my spine. But on reaching the peak, it was just chaos unleashed. There was a fog made up of the wind and the water. So thick it was that it was just… just… umm uh… er ah thick. With the chilling winds lashing at us, we were feeling cold in the bones. But the indifferent walk on the top and the opportunity to see the topmost source of the waterfall is a feeling that just cannot be described.
3) Even the most difficult of journeys can be a great one if you have friends along.
We traveled by the general coaches of the Indian railways. I have always had an aversion to traveling by the trains as I have always considered them stinking and dirty. I am yet to be proved wrong. But the fact that you got friends along gave me an entirely new area to concentrate on. At least, even if no other topic was being discussed, I could crib about the trains (reminds me of the homing journey experience during my engineering days). Another thing I hate is wet clothes. Now both were combined into one combo-offer, but I just didn’t notice.
4) Simple things in life make the moment.
The occasional views from the train and the trek path, the lush greenery around, a walk in the clouds, posing for photographs, silly poses caught on candid camera, the occasional mock fights, PJs, good jokes, slapstick humor, biscuits, hot chai, the long forgotten lowly but extremely tasty bread-jam, running downhill, the pain in the thighs, the pain in the joints, the pain in the soles, the limp, the sympathy from friends…
There were other very obvious things that I had unlearnt, which I learnt again like indiscriminately eating food that appears tasty can lead to bad stomach problems, wearing shoes on treks is actually safer, polythene covers keep clothes dry and if you want dry clothes it is better not to keep them soaked in water, rain is mainly comprised of water, and so on.
In summary it was a ruggedly refreshing experience much different from the artificially planned ones. Thanks a lot zombie, tripathy, ani, sush, tanu, shacha for making hell enjoyable.
photos from the trek are here
I was torn between the devil and the deep sea – actually I would say “sleep” and “a long awaited trek” or the pessimist in me says “deprived sleep (on a chance of a lifetime)” and “an unnecessarily uncomfortable dirty wet tiring journey”.
Well these were what I actually learnt from the outing.
1) If there is something interesting to look forward to, then sleep deprivation does not actually bother you.
Rudely pushed into the trek which began at 5am and the preparations for it started at 3am and considering the football match preceding it – well in other words I didn’t sleep that night. And I even considered dropping out of the expedition. But then after the journey began in the cool morning breeze, I lost all the sleepy feeling and actually felt energetic. Wish I could say the same for all those classes… profs and wannabe profs who are reading this may take some pointers.
2) When chilled to the bone, the feeling of indifference that sets in actually lets you enjoy more.
My rain jacket gave up on me. What else could it do if being clearly outsmarted by the heavy and continuous rains… after a few hours of soaking, it started transferring water through to my t-shirt. Sometime later my t-shirt passed it on to my innerwears and so on. So finally I was wet to my skin. Since the wind also wanted to show his fury, there was continuous buffeting of the rain by the wind around us and whenever this happened, a shiver would run down my spine. But on reaching the peak, it was just chaos unleashed. There was a fog made up of the wind and the water. So thick it was that it was just… just… umm uh… er ah thick. With the chilling winds lashing at us, we were feeling cold in the bones. But the indifferent walk on the top and the opportunity to see the topmost source of the waterfall is a feeling that just cannot be described.
3) Even the most difficult of journeys can be a great one if you have friends along.
We traveled by the general coaches of the Indian railways. I have always had an aversion to traveling by the trains as I have always considered them stinking and dirty. I am yet to be proved wrong. But the fact that you got friends along gave me an entirely new area to concentrate on. At least, even if no other topic was being discussed, I could crib about the trains (reminds me of the homing journey experience during my engineering days). Another thing I hate is wet clothes. Now both were combined into one combo-offer, but I just didn’t notice.
4) Simple things in life make the moment.
The occasional views from the train and the trek path, the lush greenery around, a walk in the clouds, posing for photographs, silly poses caught on candid camera, the occasional mock fights, PJs, good jokes, slapstick humor, biscuits, hot chai, the long forgotten lowly but extremely tasty bread-jam, running downhill, the pain in the thighs, the pain in the joints, the pain in the soles, the limp, the sympathy from friends…
There were other very obvious things that I had unlearnt, which I learnt again like indiscriminately eating food that appears tasty can lead to bad stomach problems, wearing shoes on treks is actually safer, polythene covers keep clothes dry and if you want dry clothes it is better not to keep them soaked in water, rain is mainly comprised of water, and so on.
In summary it was a ruggedly refreshing experience much different from the artificially planned ones. Thanks a lot zombie, tripathy, ani, sush, tanu, shacha for making hell enjoyable.
photos from the trek are here
Perils of Pokerfaced Pleasantry
Joke Type 1: The Slapstick Comedy
Situation 1:
This guy with a small toothbrush moustache makes a lot of contortions on his face and wears a tattered costume and falls down flat on his butt.
Response:
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Situation 2:
This guy runs around a big guy, keeps falling and getting beaten.
Response:
ROTFL*… Ha ha ha ha !!!
Situation 3:
Situation 1 and 2 continue for about half an hour with just changes in the background.
Response:
ROTFSCAL*… Ha ha ha ha !!!
Joke Type 2: The community based jokes
Situation 1:
This sardarji/tamilian…
Response:
Ha ha ha…
Situation 2:
This sardarji/tamilian naa what he did you know…
Response:
Ha ha ha… ho ho ho
Situation 2:
Arre baba, listen to the joke naa… This sardarji/tamilian, naa what he did you know blah blah blah blah
Response:
ROTFL… Ha ha ha… ho ho ho… Hee hee hee…
Joke Type 3: PJs
Situation 1:
Q: What is big red and goes ding ding ?
A: A fire engine
Response:
:)
Situation 2:
Q: What is big red and goes ding ding ?
A: An apple. Big and ding ding were given to confuse you.
Response:
:)
Situation 3:
Q: What is big red and goes ding ding ?
A: A book. The data was given to confuse you.
Reaction:
:-|
Joke Type 4:
Situation 1: dry punchline jokes
A great story --> a great build up --> appropriate voice modulations --> one great punchline
Response:
So…
Situation 2:
A great story --> a great build up --> appropriate voice modulations --> one great punchline higlighted
Response:
Ok, so is the joke over already ?
Situation 3:
A great story --> a great build up --> appropriate voice modulations --> one great punchline explained
Response:
Is that what everyone calls a PJ ?
Now I am thoroughly frustrated… what happened to the world of witty and dry humor ? I just love those great punchline jokes… slapstick comedy used to interest me once but I remember getting annoyed with it when I was around 10yrs old… well tom and jerry still amuses me sometimes but then the head banging with saucepans only invoke a smile (very very rarely am I ROTFL).
And what is this with the surd and tam jokes doing the rounds… in fact you can put anyone there – gujju, mallu, northie, southie, Gandhi, little Johnny, George Bush, lawyers, doctors, engineers, software guys… just anybody and you could form a series of jokes around them. It is as if only these people can do all those comical blunders that they do… in fact once I had a fight with my friend over whose "ticketless traveller" joke was better – the one involving lawyers or the tamilians, though essentially the plot and the words were the same.
The PJs are very person specific… they appear funny only to the person who tells them and the person who is actually in the mood to listen… usually a couple of jokes evoke a pleasant smile, but if you overdo it, the listeners may actually get aggressive and change their smileys. But then they have their audiences too and there are far too many books written about them.
(Now the author would like to put in some research theories of his own. He dares you to disprove any of them.)
Slapstick comedy seems to be the joy of people who are overworked. No need to think, an on the spot humor, instinctive. Kids enjoy them because they don’t have the mental maturity to go in for long story based jokes. Those adults who engage themselves in watching slapstick comedy are usually in a state of mind where they don’t want to think to laugh. Which is the spontaneity aspect of this brand of humor.
The ethnicity jokes just generate a trigger based on the person. People just think the joke is funny because the image they have created upon the character. Even though there are some people who say that branding people into the jokes is not good and we are actually degrading them. I would disagree as long as everything is done in good humor. In fact it is usually the other way round of seeing things, as in someone really intelligent doing something stupid as in the joke would appear rather funny, like the Einstein/Newton jokes. See what I mean, these jokes are virtually substitutable and there is no necessity for any community to take offense.
And PJs… why would anyone in their right frame of mind like PJs… like the one that my friend always does – he adds a "pun intended" at the end to tell us that we got to appreciate the “joke”. As if we didn’t know his intentions; what are friends for (also with friends like us he does not need enemies). But the truth on PJs is that it is very situational… people relate to something at the spur of the moment some remark or comment countering a profs statement or some weird play of words that the joker thinks to be funny.
Anyways now it is time for me to crib… why is it that not many tend to appreciate wit in the jokes that are dry and straight faced ? Is it because the straight face does not provide the cue to listeners as to when the joke is over. Isn’t that the whole idea of straight faced humor… Or is it because they require that little bit of intelligence and concentration to appreciate these jokes?
The other day I was reading through Sidin’s posts and was laughing my head off. My roomie was bugged with my happiness and asked me to read out the joke despite my warnings… so I went on
“There was this football game between the polish and the english. Both teams walked out to the pitch. The english were soon warming up while the polish coach went around reminding his players to use no hands and that biting and head butting was not to be done, as far as possible.
Coin tossed. Whistle. And the game is afoot. However soon the english complain of rough play and walk off the pitch. The game continues. Twenty minutes later the Polish score a goal and win the match. “
Response: A blank expectant stare with a pitiful gaze (that was evoking no sympathy from me). I was planning to land him a new punchline – one from my fist to his nose… but being a roomie and him being bigger and stronger and persistent I had to give in to his requests and repeat it again this time highlighting the punch line:
“There was this football game between the polish and the english. Both teams walked out to the pitch. The english were soon warming up while the polish coach went around reminding his players to use no hands and that biting and head butting was not to be done, as far as possible.
Coin tossed. Whistle. And the game is afoot. However soon the english complain of rough play and walk off the pitch. The game continues. Twenty minutes later the Polish score a goal and win the match.”
He still didn’t get it. And I am not explaining it again.
PS. For those who didn’t get the title, it was my attempt at straight faced humor.
*Glossary:
ROTFL => Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFSCAL => Rolling On The Floor Stomach Clutched And Laughing
Situation 1:
This guy with a small toothbrush moustache makes a lot of contortions on his face and wears a tattered costume and falls down flat on his butt.
Response:
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Situation 2:
This guy runs around a big guy, keeps falling and getting beaten.
Response:
ROTFL*… Ha ha ha ha !!!
Situation 3:
Situation 1 and 2 continue for about half an hour with just changes in the background.
Response:
ROTFSCAL*… Ha ha ha ha !!!
Joke Type 2: The community based jokes
Situation 1:
This sardarji/tamilian…
Response:
Ha ha ha…
Situation 2:
This sardarji/tamilian naa what he did you know…
Response:
Ha ha ha… ho ho ho
Situation 2:
Arre baba, listen to the joke naa… This sardarji/tamilian, naa what he did you know blah blah blah blah
Response:
ROTFL… Ha ha ha… ho ho ho… Hee hee hee…
Joke Type 3: PJs
Situation 1:
Q: What is big red and goes ding ding ?
A: A fire engine
Response:
:)
Situation 2:
Q: What is big red and goes ding ding ?
A: An apple. Big and ding ding were given to confuse you.
Response:
:)
Situation 3:
Q: What is big red and goes ding ding ?
A: A book. The data was given to confuse you.
Reaction:
:-|
Joke Type 4:
Situation 1: dry punchline jokes
A great story --> a great build up --> appropriate voice modulations --> one great punchline
Response:
So…
Situation 2:
A great story --> a great build up --> appropriate voice modulations --> one great punchline higlighted
Response:
Ok, so is the joke over already ?
Situation 3:
A great story --> a great build up --> appropriate voice modulations --> one great punchline explained
Response:
Is that what everyone calls a PJ ?
Now I am thoroughly frustrated… what happened to the world of witty and dry humor ? I just love those great punchline jokes… slapstick comedy used to interest me once but I remember getting annoyed with it when I was around 10yrs old… well tom and jerry still amuses me sometimes but then the head banging with saucepans only invoke a smile (very very rarely am I ROTFL).
And what is this with the surd and tam jokes doing the rounds… in fact you can put anyone there – gujju, mallu, northie, southie, Gandhi, little Johnny, George Bush, lawyers, doctors, engineers, software guys… just anybody and you could form a series of jokes around them. It is as if only these people can do all those comical blunders that they do… in fact once I had a fight with my friend over whose "ticketless traveller" joke was better – the one involving lawyers or the tamilians, though essentially the plot and the words were the same.
The PJs are very person specific… they appear funny only to the person who tells them and the person who is actually in the mood to listen… usually a couple of jokes evoke a pleasant smile, but if you overdo it, the listeners may actually get aggressive and change their smileys. But then they have their audiences too and there are far too many books written about them.
(Now the author would like to put in some research theories of his own. He dares you to disprove any of them.)
Slapstick comedy seems to be the joy of people who are overworked. No need to think, an on the spot humor, instinctive. Kids enjoy them because they don’t have the mental maturity to go in for long story based jokes. Those adults who engage themselves in watching slapstick comedy are usually in a state of mind where they don’t want to think to laugh. Which is the spontaneity aspect of this brand of humor.
The ethnicity jokes just generate a trigger based on the person. People just think the joke is funny because the image they have created upon the character. Even though there are some people who say that branding people into the jokes is not good and we are actually degrading them. I would disagree as long as everything is done in good humor. In fact it is usually the other way round of seeing things, as in someone really intelligent doing something stupid as in the joke would appear rather funny, like the Einstein/Newton jokes. See what I mean, these jokes are virtually substitutable and there is no necessity for any community to take offense.
And PJs… why would anyone in their right frame of mind like PJs… like the one that my friend always does – he adds a "pun intended" at the end to tell us that we got to appreciate the “joke”. As if we didn’t know his intentions; what are friends for (also with friends like us he does not need enemies). But the truth on PJs is that it is very situational… people relate to something at the spur of the moment some remark or comment countering a profs statement or some weird play of words that the joker thinks to be funny.
Anyways now it is time for me to crib… why is it that not many tend to appreciate wit in the jokes that are dry and straight faced ? Is it because the straight face does not provide the cue to listeners as to when the joke is over. Isn’t that the whole idea of straight faced humor… Or is it because they require that little bit of intelligence and concentration to appreciate these jokes?
The other day I was reading through Sidin’s posts and was laughing my head off. My roomie was bugged with my happiness and asked me to read out the joke despite my warnings… so I went on
“There was this football game between the polish and the english. Both teams walked out to the pitch. The english were soon warming up while the polish coach went around reminding his players to use no hands and that biting and head butting was not to be done, as far as possible.
Coin tossed. Whistle. And the game is afoot. However soon the english complain of rough play and walk off the pitch. The game continues. Twenty minutes later the Polish score a goal and win the match. “
Response: A blank expectant stare with a pitiful gaze (that was evoking no sympathy from me). I was planning to land him a new punchline – one from my fist to his nose… but being a roomie and him being bigger and stronger and persistent I had to give in to his requests and repeat it again this time highlighting the punch line:
“There was this football game between the polish and the english. Both teams walked out to the pitch. The english were soon warming up while the polish coach went around reminding his players to use no hands and that biting and head butting was not to be done, as far as possible.
Coin tossed. Whistle. And the game is afoot. However soon the english complain of rough play and walk off the pitch. The game continues. Twenty minutes later the Polish score a goal and win the match.”
He still didn’t get it. And I am not explaining it again.
PS. For those who didn’t get the title, it was my attempt at straight faced humor.
*Glossary:
ROTFL => Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFSCAL => Rolling On The Floor Stomach Clutched And Laughing
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